for only a moment

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Friday, June 15, 2007

I had been talking with my mom… I want to start a book club, or a reading circle… We talked about doing it online… inviting people we know to join… it was my job to find or make a forum/message board. So I did. Finally. Here’s the link… This is a test version… I want to see if friends and family are interested… willing to write about what they read. If people are, I will keep looking for a message board host that we could use…. This one seems okay, but you can’t limit who signs up and eventually we might want to make it invitation only so that strangers aren’t signing up and posting things. What do you think?

By the time the school year was over, I had stopped pumping during the day. Clara was nursing only three times a day–in the morning when she woke, when I picked her up and once in the evening before bed. She was getting most of her nutrition from a bottle–formula. I thought my supply would dry up and she would take only formula. But when I started staying home again, she nursed more and more. I have been offering her bottles, but she always turns her head towards me, wanting to nurse. So she ends up nursing first and then when the flow slows, or it’s empty, she might take the rest of her feeding from the bottle. Other times, I nurse then offer the bottle, and she refuses. So far today, she’s only had 3 ounces of formula. She nursed the rest of the time. The first couple weeks I was home, she had double that by this time. She’s nursing more, plus she has oatmeal and bananas for breakfast, veggies or fruit for lunch, and veggies or fruit for dinner.

I have mixed feelings about continuing to nurse her. She is five months old. It seems to me that some people think that is too old to nurse a baby. But others say you should nurse for twelve full months. My thought was that as long as it was working for us, we would continue. I really thought we would have stopped by this time, though. It’s just easier with a toddler around to let Clara nurse because then I have a free hand to do stickers with Hannah, or read her a book while Clara nurses. I can follow Hannah from room to room, or help her climb into her toddler bed. I have a hand for her, a hand that I don’t have if I’m holding the bottle with it. Hannah is used to seeing Clara nurse, and doesn’t seem bothered by it. If Hannah grows up learning that boobs have a purpose besides being playthings for men, that’s good, in my opinion. Also, we’re saving money because I’m not buying as much formula so it’s hard to just quit.

I know it will be easier on the flight to not have to make a bottle, and it’s comforting to Clara. In the airport, before we board, if she’s nursing, Hannah can still sit on my lap, with my one arm around both of them. If I’m giving a bottle, my arm takes up the space for Hannah.

I guess there are still lots of good reasons to be nursing Clara. I can always give a bottle during the Fourth of July party if it seems weird to nurse there. I am doing what works best not just for Clara, although it is best for her, but also what is best for Hannah. And they are my first commitment.

is a stay home day. My last day of work was one week ago. On that day, I finished labeling everything to be moved out of my classroom. The new inhabitant had already moved his stuff in. I packed a few boxes and bags in my car. I picked up lunch at Portillos. Then I went to pick up the girls. We got home, and I put them both down for a nap. I took a nap myself. Peace. Quiet. Happiness.

Since then, things have been going well. I have to remind myself to talk with Hannah while she plays. When I ignore her, or am too wrapped up in the baby or housework, she does everything she can to get my attention… and usually it’s everything bad. If I make time for her, she is happy, confident, and independent.

Today after nap, we went to the park with a good friend of mine. I met this friend at work. Her classroom was next door to mine. Two of her kids, ages 9 and 6, love playing with Hannah and Clara. Many of our students showed up at the park too, because they knew we were coming. It was fun to see all of them, and to know that they are doing well.